Where is my village
Published on:
25 Feb 2025
The Lost Support System for New Mothers & The Need for Holistic Postpartum Care
With the narrowing of gender roles, overlap of male and female responsibilities, somehow, still the onus of raising the child falls on the lone mother. Strapped to her bed by the invisible command of the tiny baby, the strong independent woman who took on the world single handedly is now thrown into the throes of parenting with no village to back her exhausted body and mind.
One of the leading reasons of postpartum depression is the sleep deprivation and exhaustion that goes hand in hand with motherhood. Blaming just the hormones is silencing the pleas for help by the mother. A woman pampered through her 9 months of pregnancy with her circle attending to her every craving suddenly has the rug pulled out from beneath her feet. There is a perceptible colossal shift from attention to the mother to undivided attention to the newborn. Coming to terms with this loss of privilege, the hard harsh reality of the postpartum period and the reduction of the strong independent woman to a weepy zombie is not something a woman can handle easily and certainly not by herself.
Managing expectations for life after childbirth is something few of us are prepared for. There are numerous books, online resources, and even well-meaning advice from experienced parents that focus on pregnancy, labour, and baby care. However, one aspect that is often overlooked is the reality of life after childbirth—how it fundamentally transforms relationships, personal identity, and daily routines. No pregnancy or baby book can fully prepare parents for the challenges they will face once the baby arrives. The romanticized version of parenting we see in movies, TV shows, and social media often sets us up for unrealistic expectations.
Understanding and managing these expectations can help new parents navigate this period with greater ease and a healthier mindset. There are three key areas where new parents must adjust their expectations to align with reality. Failing to do so can lead to disappointment, frustration, and unnecessary strain on relationships.
Globally, PPD affects approximately 13% of women who have recently given birth. In developing countries, this prevalence rises to about 19.8% (WHO). In severe cases mothers’ suffering might be so severe that they may even commit suicide. In the United States, recent data indicates that the rate of PPD diagnoses increased from 9.4% in 2010 to 19.0% in 2021. This upward trend underscores the growing recognition and diagnosis of PPD among new mothers. The loss of the extensive village-like support system was lost along the way of urbanisation and that is something we need to strive to bring back. At Orya Care, experts in the field of gynaecology, nutrition, Ayurveda and yoga support the mother when she is at her lowest. A mere 100 years ago, the rates of postpartum depression were significantly lower and it wouldn’t be far fetched to say that this is also a lifestyle disorder affecting the mother down to the level of her core.
PPD is not exclusive to biological mothers; it also affects fathers and adoptive parents. Studies have found that approximately 10% of new fathers experience symptoms of depression during the postpartum period. This highlights the need for inclusive mental health support for all parents, regardless of gender or biological relation to the child.
The Social isolation that comes with modern parenting
From a young age, we are conditioned to expect appreciation for our efforts. In kindergarten, golden stars are handed out for good behavior and achievements. As students, we receive praise from teachers and family for academic success. When we enter the workforce, performance appraisals and promotions serve as tangible recognition for our hard work. These experiences reinforce the idea that effort leads to acknowledgment and rewards.
However, the reality of becoming a new parent introduces a stark contrast to this expectation. Parenting is one of the most demanding and self-sacrificial roles, yet it comes with little to no immediate appreciation or external validation. New parents find themselves exhausted, emotionally drained, and constantly putting their child’s needs ahead of their own, without so much as a “thank you” in return. Unlike a job where productivity and effort are recognized, parenting—especially in the newborn stage—is a relentless cycle of giving without immediate feedback or gratitude.
This lack of appreciation can be difficult to process, especially for mothers, who often bear the brunt of childcare responsibilities. As the primary caregiver, a mother spends hours feeding, soothing, and attending to the baby’s needs while simultaneously recovering from childbirth. Fathers, too, may feel overwhelmed by their new responsibilities, but they do not experience the same level of physical and emotional exhaustion as mothers.
For couples, this imbalance can lead to feelings of resentment and emotional distance. Fathers may struggle to understand why their once-independent and confident partner now seems emotionally needy. The answer is simple: she needs acknowledgment and support. A few words of appreciation, a listening ear, or even small gestures of kindness can go a long way in making a mother feel valued.
It is crucial for both partners to recognize and validate each other’s efforts. Since the baby cannot yet express gratitude, it falls on the parents to appreciate each other. Fathers should make a conscious effort to acknowledge the hard work their partner is putting in. A simple “You’re doing an amazing job” or “I appreciate all that you do for our baby” can uplift a mother’s spirits and strengthen the emotional bond between partners.
Additionally, setting realistic expectations about the thanklessness of parenting can help new parents avoid unnecessary disappointment. Knowing in advance that this phase is temporary and that their efforts will eventually be appreciated—if not by the baby, then by each other—can make the journey easier to navigate.
Orya Care is your modern-day village
At Orya Care, we prioritize not only the physical health of our patients but also their emotional well-being. Our approach ensures that both aspects of recovery are given equal attention. We believe that a holistic healing process is essential for new mothers. Our team consists of highly experienced professionals dedicated to comprehensive maternal care. From gynecologists to Ayurvedic practitioners, each expert contributes to a well-rounded recovery plan. This diverse expertise allows us to address every aspect of postpartum health. We understand that new mothers require more than just medical assistance. That’s why we provide specialized support for both physical recovery and mental wellness. Our goal is to create a nurturing environment where they feel truly cared for. Ayurvedic practitioners at Orya Care bring time-tested, natural healing methods to the recovery process. Their expertise helps mothers regain strength and balance through traditional remedies. This integration of Ayurveda with modern medicine ensures holistic well-being.
Yoga therapy plays a vital role in our postpartum care programs. With guided sessions, mothers can enhance their physical strength while achieving emotional stability. Our yoga therapists ensure a gentle and effective approach tailored to individual needs. Lactation support is a crucial aspect of our care services. Our lactation counsellors assist mothers in overcoming breastfeeding challenges, ensuring both the mother and baby receive the best nourishment. This guidance helps build confidence and ease the transition into motherhood.
Mental health support is an integral part of our care model. Our in-house counsellor provides emotional guidance to help mothers navigate the challenges of postpartum life. We strive to create a safe space for them to express and process their emotions.
Orya Care’s multidisciplinary team collaborates to provide personalized postpartum recovery plans. By combining modern medical expertise with holistic healing techniques, we ensure a seamless transition into motherhood. This comprehensive approach fosters both physical and mental resilience. We believe that new mothers deserve the highest level of care and support. Our services are designed to make their recovery journey smoother and stress-free. At Orya Care, we are committed to their overall well-being.
By prioritizing both physical and psychological health, we aim to create a transformative postpartum experience. Our team works together to offer compassionate, expert care tailored to each mother’s unique needs. At Orya Care, healing is not just about recovery—it’s about empowerment. Because we believe that if the mother is well taken care of, the baby will be too!
References
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2826508
Lead Health and Wellness Coach
